Allen's First Warmth
by CandyDrippinLikeWater
Summary: Spoiler of Chapter 166  one of my fav chapters!  Allen use to workat a circus and what happens when his friend dies and happens to be Mana'a co-worker?
1. Chapter 1

Allen's First Warmth

"Is it dead?" Mana bent down on the ground starring at his dead dog when he heard the voice of Allen. He looked up to see that Allen was right next to him. His maroon brown hair tied back and dirty circus clothes made him look poor, which he was.

"He's dead." Mana placed his hands on his ankles.

"He's covered in bruises." Allen observed.  
Cosimo probably did it. 'Cause he likes you more that him." Mana placed a rubber ball on top of the grave he just made for his dead dog.

"Hmm... you're noy gonna get revenge on him?"

"If I do that I'll get throught out of here." Mana explained patting his hands.

_UGH!_ Allen grunted in his head looking away disgusted at Mana's 'kindness'.

"Imma new-comer after all." Mana continued "After christmas tomorrow, I'll move somewhere new..."

"I see..." Allen sat down beside Mana and rested his cheek on his hand while starring at the dog in a not-so-carring fashion.

Mana glanced over at Allen. He noticed something important. He licked his finger and rubbed it on allens cheek "Oh my! You're covered in bruises too, arent' you!"

"Ew gross! get you're spit off me!"

"Did Cosimo beat you up, too?"

"Shut up!"

"Don't you have any friends?"

"SHUT UP!" Allen wrapped his hands around his knees with an angry look on his face "When I grow up... I'm getting out of here as soon as I'm strong enough so I don't need any friends."

Allen stared at the rubber ball "Aren't.. you gonna cry? Hee lived with you for a long time didn't he? Aren't you sad?"

Mana didn't answer so Allen looked towards him, Mana had a rope around his neck and was hanging from a tree **"So Sad I Could Die." **

"Quit it!" Allen watched as Mana removed the rope "Maybe my tears are all dried up. The just won't come."

Allen looked back at the dog. He met the dog once before. Allen was serving lunch to all the clowns and circus people when he sumbled across that very dog. It licked allen's hand and that was the first warmth Allen had ever felt.

"He licked my hand yesterday. His tongue was warm." Allen looked away so Mana couldn't see his face. "So how come..." Allen's voice was quivery. Mana tried to look at his face and notice Allen was biting his lips "I'm crying over him?" huge tears formed in his eyes, then they made their way down his cheek.

Finally Allen couldn't control himself and began sobbing. Just like a child would, Allen lifted his head and let out a "WUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Mana stared at Allen "I see." he then proceeded to stared at the dog's grave.

_You Were Allen's Friend, Too..._


	2. Chapter 2

Allen's First Good Personality

Early in the morning Allen woke to see snow. He also saw Mana running in circles. "What is he...?" Allen did not finish his sentence. Why? Because a white cold FLUFF ball smacked him across the face, that's why!

"What the hell?" As he removed the snow from his now cold face, he noticed Mana laughing and rolling on the snow. "You're such a damn child!" He couldn't help but smile.

_How can this man be happy? His dog just died a couple days ago! Or was it yesterday...?_

Allen could not remember. "Hey, Allen!" Mana called.

"What do you want?" Allen moved his arms into his poor, ripped sweater. "Guess what day it is three days from now?" Mana picked up more snow, this time just staring at it.

"I don't care! ... Tell me anyway." Allen stumbled on the snow; not having the right snow shoes can bug a person. "It's going to be Christmas!" Mana cheered, throwing the snow in the air.

"Like I care about Christmas..." Allen finally reached Mana. He couldn't hold his balance on the snow so he grabbed Mana's sleeve. "It's not Christmas I care about, Allen." Mana looked up as if his words were written on the sky, "Christmas is the day I'm going to leave. The day I'm finally going to leave..."

Allen stared at Mana. Mana looked relieved. As if... he'd been living in hell and now he was going to escape.

He wanted to feel that. He wanted to feel what Mana was feeling.

Mana looked down at Allen, who blushed and looked away. "Just 'cause you can..." Allen mumbled.

Mana crouched next to Allen "You're a cute kid, Allen. But you're mean."

"Screw you... the only people who you need to be polite to is a King or Queen." Allen glared at his left arm; his deformed one.

Mana sat down. The snow was cold but he didn't mind. "Anyone can be polite to a king. It takes a gentleman to be polite to a beggar."

Allen quickly crained his head towards Mana.

"Allen, if you're polite people will start respecting you. Not only that, but people will feel more comfortable around you. Most importantly, it's the right way to act. It's ... _polite_."

Allen thought about it. Being polite... was it something he could do?

"Hey boy! Get over here and clean these dishes for breakfast!" a voice from within the circus tent yelled.

Allen quickly got up and listened to his orders. Once in the tent the man named Joseph plopped 10 dishes onto Allen's hand. "You better wash them all nice 'n clean, maggot!"

Instead of saying "All of these? Are you serious?" like he'd usually say, Allen decided to test out this _politeness _Mana was talking about. "Certainly, Sir! Not near clean but CLEAN itself!" Allen didn't exactly know how to be polite but he tried his best and he knew he had succeeded when Joseph looked at him surprised "Y-yeah... you better. Actually, have Cosimo help you."

"What? I ain't helping that brat!" Cosimo jumped from his chair causing everyone in the tent to look his way.

"It's alright, Sir. I'll do them myself." Allen bowed. _Are these suckers really falling for this? _

He could hear Mana snicker from outside the tent and he knew Mana had planned this the whole time.

"No, no, wait, Kid! Cosimo, YOU do all the dishes!" Joseph ordered.

"Why me?"

"There's only ten, you good-for-nothing hobo!" Joseph snatched the dishes away from Allen and smiled "Go have fun, Kid. This is an adult's job!"

Allen laughed to himself as Joseph handed the dishes to Cosimo.

"That's what you get for killing the dog, dipsh- I mean, GOOD LUCK!"

Allen ran out into the snow again. "So, did it work?" Mana said in a certain smug tone.

"I never knew that could work! I'm going to use that trick all the time!"

Mana smiled as Allen began to laugh by himself. He knew exactly what he was going to do.

_I'll prepare you for the real world, Allen. I'll get you ready for that day..._


	3. Chapter 3

Allen's First Success

"I ... can't do it!"

"Of course you won' if you keep saying that~!"

"No ... I literally can't do it! It hasn't moved an inch!"

Allen let go of the rope, rubbing his red hands on his knees.

"That ... really hurt my hands." he admitted. Mana looked up that the drawer Allen was supposed to take to Ms. Man-Beard's room. "Hmm... maybe this should've been, like, the THIRD step, no?"

"Or maybe the LAST! Wait- what? Step for what?" Allen stood up straight "You don't ... you aren't gonna make me a slave ... are you?" Allen backed away "The politeness ... the strength exercise ... you want to make me a slave!"

Mana fell to the floor, **laughing**. "Why on earth would I need a slave?" Once Mana's composure returned, he stood back up and pat Allen's head "Allen, I'm preparing you for the real world. You need to be strong to protect yourself."

Allen ignored Mana's words. He'd noticed something; this whole time Mana hadn't asked ONCE about Allen's hand.

Allen looked down at his left arm.

"Does your hand hurt, Allen?"

"…" Allen looked straight into Mana's eyes. "I am strong! I can do around 180 push-ups on one hand! It's just that THAT drawer is waaay bigger than me!"

"Fine, then show me, _Arren-kun._" Mana took a seat on a nearby chair.

Allen pouted his lips and burrowed his eyebrows "f-fine!" he swiftly took off his jacket leaving a plain white shirt under and began his push-ups "1…2…3…4…5…"

More than 30 minutes had passed before Mana finally notice how many push-ups Allen was actually doing.

"138…139…140-"

"Uh, sorry. Can you start over; I wasn't paying attention?"

"Ehh?" Allen plopped onto his torso still looking at Mana. "You spaced out? Ohh, fine! 1…2…3…"

Mana could see Allen become more polite. Allen had been getting used to it since the day before. Allen, how did you get so strong? "

"Heh… Holding two different dishes full of chicken for ten different clowns can really help your arm strength!" Allen decided to stop. Let's put an end to this conversation. "

He looked out the window then turned back to Mana.

He smiled brightly; as in BRIGHTLY, brightly. Like… he was MEANT to smile. Like… his smile would save lives someday… "It's still snowing and it's early in the morning. Let's go for a walk!"

Mana could tell Allen was softening, "Sure, why not?" Allen was kind, indeed. And one day this boy would make history.

Xxx

"So, Allen, How' you get to the circus?" Mana sipped the hot chocolate he had bought from a young lady. "The man needed help." Allen sipped as well. "The man?" Mana couldn't count how many men lived at the circus but he knew it was a lot.

"He was old… and looked blind. So, I thought I might be able to get something from him, you know?" Obviously Mana didn't know. He hadn't stolen. **EVER.** "Go on…"

"He was carrying about five to six boxes in his wrinkly hands. I tip-toed over behind some crates to see if there were any valuables around…" Allen paused to stare over at the snow "I found a bright necklace so I walked towards it when suddenly I heard 'Ohh, kind little boy, you help me?'"

Mana had remembered now. It was Old Man Yang from the French Bread Parlor.

"Once I got ahold of the boxes the man collapsed." Allen knew every detail, every fact of that day.

"I screamed his name two times yet he didn't respond. Soon the big guy who's in charge of the circus came out, said something 'bout the guy having a heart attack… After that I became his replacement." Allen began walking back to the circus, Mana just followed.

"I heard he entered the circus to travel the world but only got to go to France and Mexico." He entered the circus tent, placed his cup on the chair Mana had sat on, and put his hands against the drawer he hadn't moved before. "So, that's way…" he began pushing, face turning red, and hands getting sweaty "I'll do my job right! FOR HIM!"

The drawer slowly began to move soon it moved faster than wind as if Allen was somehow pushing a mere feather. He pushed it right through Ms. Man-Beard's room placing it right in front of her bed.

Allen then fell on his knees, leaning against the drawer panting half to death.

"I did it, old man… my first success... for you. Be grateful you… you…" Allen stuffed his face onto his sleeves. "I'm sorry! It's my fault you died!"

Mana did nothing but watched. It was good to cry.

_Allen has a kind heart, too… _Mana noted.


	4. Chapter 4

"One...two...three-ow!"

"Haha, try again."

"One...two...three...four-! Ow!"

"Try again."

"Why?"

"To be a good Clown you must know how to juggle."

Allen's First Juggle

Allen stared at the bowling pins in his hands. "Is today Christmas?"

"Nope," Mana leaned back on his wooden chair "tomorrow is."

"But two days ago you said-"

"Tomorrow will be the third day correct?"

Allen thought hard. He hadn't gone to school so he wasn't very good with numbers.

"I ... think."

"Juggle, boy, juggle!"

Allen juggled as fast as he could. "L-look! I'm juggl- owww!"

"Poor, Allen." Mana mocked.

Allen pouted "If I wasn't wearing this ridiculous outfit and make-up then MAYBE I'd be able to juggle better!"

"Allen, you HAVE to wear that. CLOWNS have to wear that."

Allen had a ridiculous clown outfit with heavy, clown make-up to go with it. His bangs were tied up in a pink rubber band while the rest of his hair laid flat.

"By the way, you've never gone to school, right?"

"Uh huh..."

"Then how do you know such big words?"

Allen attempted to juggle again. Failing once he began. "Other people say it around me so I get used to it. Stop asking me questions, old man."

Mana looked over at his already packed luggage.

"What are you going to do when you leave?" Allen pulled of the pink rubber band tying his bangs together "And where are you going to live?"

"I'm going to travel around the world and gain money as a clown. It's the only thing I know how to do."

He didn't understand. Mana was going to leave one Circus to be trapped in another?

"Why go to another circus? Don't you, uh, get a home or something?"

"I never said I would enter a circus." Mana looked around the whole room then stopped and stared at Allen. "We haven't had any acts lately."

"It's December; who wants to sit in the cold while watching crappy acts?"

Allen sat on the floor. He didn't want to admit it but if Mana leaves Allen would be by himself again. He desperately wanted to go with him. He wanted to simply say "Take me with you!" but those words just couldn't escape his lips. He wanted to be with Mana... forever.

Mana had noticed Allen being quiet. "Hm? What happened? Did this brat suddenly shut down on me?"

"Shut down? I'm not some kind of machine!"

"Oh, you aren't? My, oh, my! I didn't know that!"

Mana snickered looking at Allen's red face. "You sure get mad quickly."

"You annoy me too quickly."

"Do you know what Quickly means?" Mana mocked Allen playfully like he liked to do.

"Of course I do! I'm not an idiot!" Allen decided to juggle instead of listening to the crazed old man. But, still the same thought came back to him. Allen didn't want to be lonely anymore... He'd just made a new friend and he didn't want to lose him.

"Stop going quiet all of a sudden!" Mana yelled. Allen jumped at Mana's sudden burst. "Jesus! Don't be so loud; my head hurts!"

Mana observed Allen for a while "You're face is all red, too. Are you sick?"

Allen said nothing. He sat there trying to juggle. "You are, aren't' you?"

"..."

Mana knew this was going nowhere. He stood up, Allen still staring at the bowling pins. "I'll go get you some nice, warm soup!"

Allen listened as Mana's footsteps faded away.

"Stupid old man..."

Allen mumbled to himself over and over again. He was SO busy mumbling to himself he didn't notice one important thing.

He was juggling.

Yes, juggling.

Four bowling pins flew from on hand to the other. But still his thoughts went on. Mana was nothing but a clown. Mana was nothing to him. Nothing.

A fifth bowling pin flew onto his hands, yet he didn't notice. A sixth. A seventh.

How? Mana.

Mana stood by the door watching Allen hypnotizing juggle. He wondered if he should throw the soup in there too.

He decided to throw another. Now Allen was juggling eight bowling pins. Mana couldn't find another so he threw a perfume then he threw a picture frame.

Now.

NOW it was time for the soup.

It was time for the soup ... to be THROWN.

And so he did! He threw the soup and it all happened **in slow motion.**

The soup made its way from Mana's hands to Allen's right hand, to the sky, then Allen's right hand.

Mana figured it out. Allen couldn't juggle because he thought too much about it. He tried too hard. But now Allen was busy thinking about something else; the bowling pins didn't matter anymore.

Mana was leaving, Allen thought. Mana was leaving and never coming back. Damn. Mana was nice, though.

Nice people don't leave. It should be illegal!

Warm... Something warm...

Allen felt something warm on his hand yet he still sat hypnotized in his thoughts.

Why is it hot? Bowling pins shouldn't be hot. That's a big no-no! He heard snickers. Very FAMILIAR snickers.

Mana?

Allen crained his head towards the door where Mana stood giggling. "M-Mana?"

The bowling pins slipped out of his hand. So did the picture frame, following the perfume.

"What are you-?"

_SPLASH!_

Allen knew what THAT was. It was that warm thing he felt on his hand but this wasn't warm... it was hot!

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Hot! Hot! Hot! Ew! Ew! Ew!" he rant as the soup ran down into his mouth. He ran around the room, his head burning. "Ooooow!" He yelled. Finally he trip over a bowling pin sending him to the floor on his butt.

Allen seems to have a hobby of falling.

He felt the soup cooling off. Then he felt a towel land on his head.

In front of him stood Mana kneeling on the floor with his hands on both sides of the towel.

He smiled.

"Are you okay, Allen?"

Allen put his hands on the towel in front of his cheeks. "I-I'm fine."

His chest became heavy. He felt his face get hot and heavy. His mouth trembled. His eyes squinted. "No..." he said quivery "my as-butt hurts..." he finished.

Tears ran down his cheeks; big, fat, heavy tears. The tears smudged the paint on his face but Mana whipped it all away.

Yes, he wiped away everything.

He wiped Allen's fear away. He wiped Allen's sadness away. He wiped Allen's loneness away.

If only Mana could be there all the time to wipe Allen's negative feeling away. But Mana was leaving soon and Allen had to make their time together last. Yes, it has to last. Long.

Allen couldn't sad the thought anymore. He had the perfect excuse now, too.

He wasn't crying because of the hot soup anymore. He was crying because Mana was leaving.

Allen knew he had to say some words to Mana when he leaves and _Goodbye _wasn't one of them.

He felt as two arms rapped themselves around Allen's small torso. He didn't even have to look up to know who it was.

He smiled. He smiled knowing he was with Mana... for the time being that is.

Mana was warm. Warmer than the soup. Warmer that the bowl containing the soup.

Allen still cried for many reasons he, himself didn't even know anymore.

But Mana was there. Mana was there to put a smile on his face.

Though, his smile didn't last long for the day that Mana would leave was slowly creeping closer. Terribly Closer.

Mana sensed something in Allen. Something he sensed in very few people.

_Allen's ... never been hugged._


	5. Chapter 5

It was around 9:00am that Allen woke up.

Yet, he refused to get up.

He just laid there; on his bed with the blankets up to his upper lip.

Only two words surrounded his head.

"It's Christmas."

Allen's First Goodbye

The clashing of whine cups, the thunder of laughter, and the sound of goodbye was what Allen could hear. That was ALL Allen could hear.

"Congratulations, Mana! Today's the day you become a man!"

"When wasn't I a man?"

"Today you're a SOLO man!"

Clearly they were celebrating; celebrating Mana's leaving. Allen couldn't find a reason to get up. He didn't see the purpose in leaving his room until he heard a very disturbing sentence.

"That brat of yours will be so lonely again! You're so cruel to leave him here, Mana!"

He knew it. Mana wasn't going to take him… he just knew it. He slipped to the side of the bed.

Depression; it was called. Allen didn't know how that felt but now he did. He couldn't stay quiet.

"AAGH! STUPID OLD MAN, I HATE YOU!" he yelled to himself.

He knew that he didn't hate _Mana_. He hated the fact that Mana was _leaving_. He stayed in his bed for another hour; repeating "I hate Mana" in his head.

He'd cried maybe twice in these past three days and he didn't want to cry now but he did anyway.

He lifted his head from the pillow. His maroon brown hair was a messy and his eyes were red. He heard footsteps headed towards his room and his heart raced as he expected Mana to open the door.

The door made a faint screech and one of the circus's top clowns pop into Allen's room. "Yo, Allen! We need you to wash dishes, okay?"

"… Yeah."

The warm water lifted Allen's spirit. He always loved warm water in the morning.

Allen hated Christmas. It brought back one painful memory. He was abandoned by his birth parents cause do to his deformed left arm. He was picked up by the circus to be a "water boy" but took the place of a fallen member; the "Old Man".

_CRASH!_

A dozen pieces of the broken plate shattered across the floor and he fell against the cabinet underneath the sink. His legs shook as he attempted to hug himself "_it's not fair…_" it was Allen's signature cry; his voice would quiver and he'd be blinded by his own fat, impossibly huge tears. "_It's not fair…_" he repeated. "_It's not fair… why does EVERYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO ME?_" he began hyperventilating "_w-w-what h-have I-I done t-t-to disserve this?_" he closed his eyes. "_I've been a g-good boy… haven't I-I, M-Mana?_"

"Hey, kid!"

That certain voice was one Allen did not want to hear, especially at that moment.

Allen crained his head to face Cosimo. He stood up, legs still shaking and eyes still blinded by tears. He was incredibly weak and had to lean against the sink with both arms to stand straight. "W-what do you w-want?" he gave Cosimo a cold glare; such a cold glare that if Kanda saw it this day even HE would cry. But Cosimo just glared back, he held a mop in his right arm. "Oh, boo-who. You're 'daddy' is leaving. So what? You got work to do." He tossed the mop to Allen but Allen refused to catch it. It hit him in the head before landing onto the floor in front of him with a _THUMP!_

Cosimo stared at the mop as if daring it to stand up. He looked back at Allen "**Pick It Up.**" He ordered. His words were so slow I should've put a period in front of each one. "**Pick. It. Up.**" Yeah, just like that.

Allen did nothing but keep his glare. "**Make Me.**"

"Heh," Cosimo took a step forward and Allen's feet went cold, his hearts skipped a beat, his chest ached.

_**SLAP!**_

There was nothing redder in the world than Allen's cheek. His small 5 year old face couldn't handle that of a 35 year old man's hand.

The force threw Allen back to the floor. Without him being able to grasp the situation he felt an immense pain to his back. After what seemed forever he finally realized he was being kicked CONSTANTLY. Every time Cosimo's foot made contact with Allen's back a splash of blood would escape Allen's mouth. Not after long did blood begin flowing from Allen's nose.

"This is what you get for disrespected me, brat!"

_Why? Why does this happen to me?_

It felt like forever to Allen yet it also felt it was going too quickly.

The kicking stopped and Allen thought Cosimo had better things to do than kill a child but that thought disappeared rather quickly when Allen felt the same force appear at his stomach. And again, he did it constantly. The kicking, that is. Cosimo kicked Allen's stomach constantly.

Allen vision faded but this time it wasn't because of his tears, it wasn't because he was sick, and it definitely wasn't because he was hypnotize by his thoughts but it was because he was losing conscious.

"Why are you so quiet now, brat?"

He couldn't feel the pain anymore. His body had gone numb. "_Mana…_"

"What was that, brat? Did you say something?"

Allen tried his best to get up but once he got his balance on both his arms it gave Cosimo a better chance of kicking him in the stomach. Cosimo took a hold of the mop "no…" Allen whispered to himself.

Cosimo swung the mop at Allen, hitting him a bit underneath his shoulders. Again, he swung the mop this time hitting Allen above his pelvis, "Why won't you die?" Cosimo yelled.

The more he hit the more blood stained the floor. Allen knew his skin had ripped, he knew his back was wounded, he knew he had broken ribs, he knew that he wasn't going to make it.

The mop broke at the tip which Cosimo used to stab Allen in the legs. It's dangerous to have splinters inside your flesh. Once Cosimo became tired of stabbing the legs, he stabbed Allen's arms. Over and over again. But Allen could only say one thing.

"**Mana…**"

Xxx

"…en?"

"…llen?"

"…Allen?"

His eyes slowly opened to reveal Mana standing before him. But Mana looked different. Was it because he looked worried? Was it because his eyes were red? Or was it because there was blood all over his face? The correct answer is All of The Above.

"Allen, are you okay?"

Allen could feel he was breathing hard, he could feel something tight wrapped around his torso, he could feel something cold on his forehead, he could feel his legs in a cast, he couldn't really feel his arms, and he could Band-Aids on his cheek.

Mana looked at two pieces of paper next to him. "Cosimo won't hurt you anymore. By the time he's out of the hospital you'll be going into college! But forget about that, are you okay?"

He opened his mouth, planning to say 'I'm okay' but instead he cried "Mana, it hurts!"

Of course it hurt. Cosimo kicked him so hard he bled.

"I know it hurts. But it'll heal soon-"

"Not that! It hurts… it hurts that you have to leave me alone, again!" Allen grabbed Mana's sleeve "Don't leave, Mana… please, don't leave me…" he begged.

As he looked up at Mana he couldn't help to get mad for Mana had such a foolish smile.

"Why are you smiling?" Allen whined.

"Why do you think I've been training you to be a good clown these past three days?" Mana placed his hand on Allen's forehead.

"A … clown?"

Allen could've sworn Mana was teaching him the way of life…

Mana lifted up a small bag with the name 'Allen Walker" on it.

"Starting from today" Mana lifted the blanket to place it under Allen's chin "you're officially my adopted son."

Allen mouth dropped. He stared at the bag. He had a last name. _Mana's Last Name._

He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so happy; so happy he cried.

He hadn't noticed but the room was shaking. Also, the room was _small._

Obviously, he was in a carriage. He sat up to see he wasn't in the circus anymore.

He probably wasn't even in England anymore.

Mana leaned back on the soft seat and sighed. Allen sat up and his tears kept falling.

Someday, he'd make Mana proud. Someday he'd find out things he wouldn't want to find out. Someday he'd save the world. Someday he'd make friends. Someday…

Mana stared at Allen. _I must do as Neah asked… but it aches me that I have to bring Allen into this…_

The carriage came to a stop and Mana opened the door. It was still snowing but it was warmer now.

"Allen," Mana offered his hand to said maroon-head "let's go!"

Walking a path of dirt in the middle of a winter's night can be relaxing… if you know where you're going.

But Allen didn't care. He was with Mana, that's all that mattered.

Mana had given him a soft jacket so Allen was warm.

The sky was a relaxing dark blue color and the stars shone better than ever, as if they too were as happy as Allen. Still, Allen felt physical pain but that would never top the happiness he felt at that moment.

"Hey, Allen,"

"Yeah?"

"This chapter of your life should be called Allen's First Foreign Country."

"Ha, that's too long!" Allen held Mana's hand "It should be called" he gave Mana a gentle grin

"**Allen's First Dad!"**


End file.
